Our first article on special education addressed an issue – distribution of IEPs – that is unique to children with disabilities. Our second article addresses a topic that involves all children and the community as a whole. It is not only schools that struggle with the question of how to include people who are different. What do we as parents teach our own children? When they see a person with a physical disability, we say, “Don’t stare; it’s not polite.” When they see people behaving oddly, we tell them to avoid them. About the most we do to teach inclusion is to tell them to hold the door open for people in wheelchairs. Our language itself serves to objectify: a person not only has a disability among other traits but is autistic, mentally retarded, bipolar, LD, etc.

 Schools, therefore, must take an active approach to teaching those skills that do not come naturally. Staff and children must be taught how to accept and love one another, and children who lack basic social skills must be helped to obtain them. Inclusion is not about ignoring, tolerating or proffering help to those who are different, but about making everyone a valued member of the community.

One mother’s story summarizes what is an all too familiar scenario: "My daughter presents herself fairly well and does well academically. Yet her social isolation from peers, constant rejection at school and in the neighborhood have resulted in the beginning of an eating disorder, major emotional melt downs, and, just yesterday, an attempt to hurt herself when she became frustrated with her eating addiction."

Social inclusion usually has been accomplished on a small scale by individuals, but there are ideas out there for creating global change:

Positive Behavior Support

Approximately ninety schools in Fairfax County have implemented Positive Behavior Support programs. By recognizing and rewarding desirable behaviors, these programs have the potential to create a more friendly and accepting atmosphere overall in schools. Anti-bullying programs should be an intrinsic part of the plan.

Clubs and Athletics

Extracurricular activities can provide opportunities for students of all personalities and abilities to feel good about themselves, but without careful attention, they may devolve into exclusive and overly competitive cliques. A confident person may jump into new experiences, but the less confident, and those who see themselves as out of the mainstream, need a personal invitation before they will take the plunge.

Some questions to ask about our clubs and teams:

• Do students receive enough information to know which activities might appeal to them and to know when and where they meet? Or does the school rely on word of mouth and purely verbal morning announcements that go by in such a blur that even organized students have trouble catching the details?

• Do parents receive the same information so they can make after school arrangements and encourage their children to explore their options?

• Are announcements worded in a way to make it clear that students of all abilities will be welcomed? Is a club seen as a place where students help each other to grow or as a means for the school to collect trophies?

• Are enough sports teams available so that children of all abilities can be included?

• Do club sponsors and coaches specifically consider the accommodations that may be needed to include all students? Do they brainstorm with the group on ways to make it a welcoming place?

• Are there programs in place to personally encourage each student to consider at least some of these activities?

Buddy systems:

Canterbury Woods Elementary School took this approach. A mother writes, “My daughter’s 4th grade GT teacher called halfway through the school year concerned because my daughter did not have any friends.  She offered to speak with a couple of the girls in the class to ask them to befriend my daughter.  They saved her a space at the lunch table, sat next to her in class, and even buddied with her for Field Day, a nightmare for any child with social deficits.  The girls were told just what they needed to know, and under the teacher’s watchful eye, they made a world of difference to my child.”

 At the secondary school level, a buddy system could be invaluable for drawing students to football games, dances and other social events.

 Social Skills Groups

One mother found that Irving Middle School was able to turn around a situation which had potential for disaster: “My son (with Asperger's Syndrome) had a few close friends until fifth grade.  It was about that time that the other boys started to realize that he was "different," and no longer wanted to be seen with him.  I still recall his 12th birthday, when he didn't have a single friend to invite to a party, which he had always enjoyed in previous years.  He hated middle school; the first semester of 7th grade was a nightmare - he complained about being pushed in the hallways, about the foul language, about the disruptive students in his English class. 

 “Thankfully…the school psychologist decided to put together a six-week social skills group that met once a week during first period, when my son had PE (he hated PE!).  She talked to me, and also to his Basic Skills teacher for suggestions as to who she could include in the class.  The Basic Skills teacher recommended another boy who also had Asperger's, and who also needed a friend. 

 “That group spawned the beginning of a new era for him.  It was then that my son--who had always been mainstreamed--realized that he wasn't the only boy in middle school who had Asperger Syndrome.  Up until then, he would not speak of his disability, or even acknowledge that he had AS; once he met another student like him, he learned to not only acknowledge his "difference," but to embrace it.  He realizes that his focus on cartooning/drawing may be related to his AS (his "special interest"), and he is proud that he is so dedicated to what he now sees as a future profession.  Through his new friend he met other boys with AS, all of whom have gone through high school together and been friends now for five years.  They all attend each other's birthday parties, and most will be graduating together next year.  My son is still not particularly social-minded; but he found a group in which he is comfortable and where he belongs.  He has since made other friends--not all with AS--and he realizes how important it is to have friends.”

Pine Springs Elementary School used a similar approach in the second grade: “My daughter sits next to others at lunch; she rarely if ever communicates with anyone and vice versa. Last year her special ed. teacher tried something new.  Each Friday she invited 3-4 different girls out of her “regular” class (whom she’s with except for reading and math) to eat lunch in the special ed. classroom.  Her teacher called it their tea party, and the girls in her class all seemed to be excited when it was their turn.  I think good behavior enabled participation.  Anyhow, her special ed. teacher would initiate different topics of conversation, and the girls all participated. I sat in once, and it was great fun.  It was successful all the way around.  My daughter felt like she was part of the group/part of conversation, and it gave the girls a chance to include her and get to know her better.  In addition, they all got to sit in the special ed classroom, and except for being smaller, saw that it pretty much looked like the other classes. This year, her 3^rd grade teacher and her special ed teacher came up with the idea of having her bring in a game once a week to take outside during recess.  Recess is also a hard time for her as she normally plays alone.  Her teacher began playing with her and then many of her classmates came over to play or help (she brought in the game Guess Who?).  At the end of the day, my daughter was very excited about it and told me that ‘lots of people wanted to play with me.’  She was beaming from ear to ear.”

 People First

We often forget how important language can be for creating stereotypes. It seemed awkward at first to say “chairperson” or “fire fighter” instead of “chairman” and “fireman,” but now these terms are a natural part of our speech that help make the world a better place. A child is not an “epileptic” or “ED” or “LD” or any one thing; a child is a person who has many characteristics that may include certain disabilities. Please put people first: “A student who has diabetes” or “A student who has Down’s syndrome.”

One School

Students with IEPs are by no means the only ones who feel alienated and lonely. Social inclusion programs can benefit everyone at a school. Everyone is new to a school at some point, and rapidly expanding schools such as Colin Powell Elementary School have had to learn to quickly forge a community from a very diverse group. Principal Brian Hull leads a school that has not only grown in size but includes over two hundred children in ESOL who speak forty seven different languages. He has a number of programs in place that result in a school where everyone can fit in. Student hosts from each class invite new students to join them at lunch and recess; the hosts are recognized for their leadership at a ceremony at the end of the year. One grade level at a time is on the playground at recess; the teachers brainstorm beforehand with the students to come up with activities that will entice kids of any background to participate. If a child has an issue that makes him or her stick out in the crowd, staff members go into the class and carefully explain the situation in a sensitive way, thus taking the mystique out of the difference for the other children. Inclusion does not only mean having kids in special education go out into large group settings: self contained classrooms open their doors to students in general education, forming lunch bunches and play groups. Older students work with younger ones to provide positive role modeling. Mr. Hull finds that inclusion is most successful when it is kept as natural as possible.

 What do we find in schools that have no organized approach to social inclusion? A child spends every lunch period eating alone. Another goes through his entire childhood without ever having a friend. A girl is always “last pick” and abandons any hope of enjoying athletics in her life. A boy is suspended repeatedly when he lashes out at being teased; he eventually drops out of school. And every silent witness in the community is diminished by the experience. Please don’t let these things happen at your school; we must all help our students become productive adults by giving them a strong foundation of happiness, love and social success.

 

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